I’ve been busy working on finalizing the publishing of my new book, Do You Know How To Talk with Your Young Child? Learn the 4 Step Approach to Converse and Connect. So, I’ll just announce that the e-book version is now available on Amazon, while I await a final touch-up of the cover for the paperback before it is available.

Anyway, as I thought about the enthusiasm folks display online and in person about their pets and the simple joy being with a pet brings, I was wondering how we as humans seem to relate so differently to our children.

I know, not everyone acts the same, but there seems to be a significant difference in our efforts at communicating with our pets, versus our children.  Let me try to explain.

• Do we assume we understand what our children are thinking and feeling because they are “part of us,” “just like their dad,” for example, or “part of our tribe?” With a new pet, we have a curiosity about the characteristics of our pet’s personality and temperament based on his background and breed profile.
• Do we listen only to the words our children express, especially in times of emotionality, and assume we know the emotion and thoughts fueling the words because, after all, we know the definition of the words being expressed?  With our pets, we listen to the tone, volume, behavior, and intensity of our pet’s communication because we don’t speak the same language.
• Do we have unconscious expectations of how our child will be regardless of their temperament and experiences rather than gently exploring and shaping, providing teachable moments that enhance individual strengths? 
• Could we better communicate with our children in the present moment as we do with our pets, who joyfully leave grudges and disappointments in the past, starting with a “clean slate” so to speak?  Could we then focus on observing, listening, and hearing the emotions and thoughts behind the words, modeling mutual consideration and regard for one another?

These are just thoughts about how we relate to our interesting world and each other.  During COVID lockdowns we saw an immense exodus from office work to online work, and with it an upsurge of pet ownership.  Certainly, owners could better care for their pet’s needs while working at home, but I also wonder if there was an increased desire for intimate, loving communication with another living creature at that time.  

During that same time, there was an upsurge of psychological issues among children and teens, most notably, anxiety and depression.  Many factors played a part in this–fear of death, isolation, anxiety about online learning, loss of in-person socialization, boredom, inattention, lack of physical activity, and a plethora of other individual causes.  

I believe also, just as anxiety about the world exploded, so did our escape and distraction with electronic communication.  Online communication is an amazing boon to making our world a much smaller place with texting, emails, and emojis; however, it also broadens the distances in our living rooms as parents and children retreat to exploring their own individual online worlds, unfamiliar to one other.

As you can determine from my observations, I don’t have concrete answers, just a desire for us as a culture to interact with one another mindfully and lovingly, perhaps learning even more from the beautiful creatures we have long since thought were not as evolved as we are! 

Be well, my friends,

Suanne